This is a personal opinion based on the book: The Mountain is You by Brianna West
As the new year begins, self-growth and self-development seem to top list of New Year’s resolutions. Many will translate self-growth with achievement—getting a new job, graduating from school, or opening a new business—but Brianna’s book shows it’s not all about that. Self-growth occurs when you finally face and address parts of yourself that need to fixing. Stop the self-sabotage. Redirect all the head noise. Action, action, and listen to your body’s reaction.
Aware that you’re sabotaging yourself
Living a full life doesn’t mean always having something good. We need to be aware that each of us must have traits—self-sabotage—that make us stuck in the same place. Self-sabotage is a sign that our inner narrative is irrelevant, outdated, and limiting our true potential.
Our life is mostly about what we think about ourselves. To master our lives, we must find the root cause of the negative traits we have. I know this is quite hard because it forms in our subconscious and often happens as a response to unfulfilled basic needs.
For example, we know that binge-eating high-sugar food is not good for our bodies. But you still do it because it makes us feel good. It soothes our bodies, like an instant dopamine booster. Yes, we keep eating the wrong food because it soothes us, but do we even know the cause that makes us want to keep treating our bodies this way?
If we consciously ask ourselves when we do something bad, we can assess the root cause, and steer ourselves away from those bad choices.
Also read: Why Am I Always Attracted to Problematic People?
Out of the comfort zone
Many said that to grow, we must be brave enough to step out of our comfort zone. But fear often becomes the main thing that holds us back. We need to understand that fear comes from something that is not familiar to us, whether it’s good or not.
Our brain is designed to search for familiarity. We think that we chase happiness; however, what we chase is comfort and familiarity. Self-sabotage comes from fear of the unknown, from not having control over the future. And what is ridiculous about it is self-sabotage often translated as instinct.
Here’s the scenario: Your manager said that you get promoted. Then, you think this is not the right time to get promoted because you still lack experience. You’re panicked, uncomfortable, heart beats fast. Oh, my instinct, gut feelings tell me this is not a good sign. So, based on this self-analysis, you think that your instinct tells you to decline the promotion.
Instinct or gut feeling not freaking you out. Based on this scenario, you’re not following your instinct; you’re projecting. Instinct is most likely a calm wave that tells you clarity—even if it tells you something that isn’t for you. Instinct also cannot predict your future, because instinct is a response from an action.
Feelings aren’t your thought
Feeling is a reflection of thought. Your thought changes your feelings. However, instinct doesn’t change by your thought. No instinct tells you that you’re sad or happy today. Instinct is not something you feel or interpret, it’s something you naturally do. Feelings, even if valid, mostly are not facts. So, can instinct help us choose the right things? Here’s what we must know: the right decision creates the right feelings. So action first, then you’ll know if it’s a good thing or not for you.
Also read:The Secret of Breathing: How ‘Just’ Breathing Improves Your Life
How to undress the cause of self-sabotage?
Understanding your needs takes a huge effort because the root cause has often developed a long time ago and it’s formed in our unconscious mind. Brianna West’s ‘The Mountain is You’ is also a good move to help you address your issues. This book is a life-changer. Each part will help you to assess your action, decision, and choice, and then provide you with tools to work it out. But remember, if you need more help, you can seek a therapist cause they’ll help.